You have the ability to stop time.[34]

Loot bags have a 0.01% chance of increasing your Lck by 0.01.

It feels good when your Score increases.

Astolfo, is suicidal and will jump into the void.[36]

A glowing crack appears in the firmament. (+1 Divine)

A high quality profile is made for you on GuildIn advertizing your skills. You will need a suitable conduit and Intraley connection to access your profile.

Every time you enter a door, it makes the “entering a gas station” sound

Quaffing unknown potions will be guaranteed to not cause fatal harm or fatal poisoning

You may create a flat stanley of any design you wish and send it off to another random session and you will recieve one random flat stanley in return after seven business days

Your island comes with a single wooden barrel (+1 Char)

Rapeseed is now 500% more common

Your island takes up the same volume/square meters, but it is now shaped like a six-sided star. (+1 Chutzpah)

Amusement parks in The 'Verse are more common, fun, and dangerous.

A button that, when pressed, allows you to work a fast food service job for as long as you want (1 million years minimum) and receive the corresponding payment based on minimum wage.[41]

Your dead body will never decay

You may optionally disable music, view bobbing, motion blur, bloom, and god rays IRL.

A maximally-optimized defeat of the World Dragon and all events leading up to it are shown to you in the form of a tool assisted speedrun. You do not gain any progress from this run and your memory of it is erased upon the run's completion, but it will give you a small sense of being entertained for its runtime.

61 pairs of kids safety scissors are yours now. (+10 Singularity Acceleration)

A map to the Gilded Isles + a brochure.

Wearing a full clown suit multiplies your End by 1.5x

Secrets of Golemancy are revealed to you. 100 souls can be used to create 1 artificial soul capable of inhabiting 10kg of matter[46]

Your island comes with mysterious underground puzzles but the solutions are gated behind annoying gay lore that takes too long to read. (+1 mid, +5 combination locks, +5 backstory diary entries no one cares about, -20 fun)

You can become entirely solid plastic at will.[47][48][49]

Void Angels now spawn in addition to Void Demons

You can replace your skin with other materials and your body will adapt to them. (-INF Holy, +10 Dark, +3 Neutral)

Every day, you may perform a unique ritual of your choice which has a 0.1% chance of summoning a succubus.[50]

Intraversal wormholes are now common in The 'Verse.

If you're Irish, your Lck is raised by x1.01

A series of large islands themed upon Merry England appear not too far from you. These jolly islanders will often set sail in their skyships and venture to faraway lands looking to establish trade or colonies. Cheerio![51]

You become immune to all viruses, fungi, and bacteria, but this includes your gut microbiome

The Grim Reaper from The Grim Adventures of Billy and Mandy joins you on your adventure. However, looks like he left his scythe back home this time...

For every 3 consecutive days you don't eat or drink anything nourishing you permanently gain +0.1 Spd. If you last for 6 days you gain +0.35 Spd.[52][53][54]

You just got 20% cooler.

One (1) can of spinach from Popeye. Tastes like motor oil

The combined total of your Chr and Str can be allocated to only one or the other at any given time. Switching between the two takes a day.

2,500 loyal fruit flies which will follow your every command.

After you defeat the World Dragon, all the bosses resurrect and you go out to "the pub" as "mates" for an evening. (+1 to all Squirming traits)

You can now create 4 illusory copies of an object you're holding to your left or right, each separated by a distance of 1 meter.

You are the main character of this story. Others are drawn to you and go along with your plans, but they lack interiority and have to be micromanaged. Enemies are mindlessly evil and difficult to persuade.

An infinite vitamin gummy bottle[55]

VHS tape of footage from inside a brazen bull showing Justin Bieber being slowly cooked alive.

Get a more in-depth explanation of one Non-Exempt item from a local

You can always see the funny side of things (-1 Sanity, +10 Chaos Power)

Summon Justin Bieber as- just kidding. He gets fucking tortured to death LOL. But you don't get to watch unfortunately.[-1]

You may take this item without losing any points.

Once upon death, you revive at spawn with no limbs.

Your starting island (and not any added on land or islands) is surrounded by 3 meter tall iron bars.

(+1 Unstoppable Agency)

Funny shows like The PJs, Game Over, and Glenn Martin DDS come back and unfunny shows like Smiling Friends are cancelled.

(+3 Flesh Attribute, +1 Earth Attribute, -5 Mobility)

A World Dragon-shaped cookie cutter

While completely unencumbered (wearing no clothing or equipment and carrying no items), you may slow down your subjective experience of time by up to 50%, absorb 50% of light, become translucent to 50% of unabsorbed light, cancel 50% of noise your body causes directly, and may become completely undetectable to sentient, sub-Divine beings by inhabiting all valid positions within 2m of solid matter (other than your own body) in a region bounded by a greater than 50% likelihood of one or more sentient, sub-Divine beings detecting your presence (if not for this sub-ability), which can be collapsed at will to rematerialise your form, and is forcibly collapsed when the region's volume is reduced below your physical volume. If the region is partitioned into disjoint subregions, you must choose which subregion to inhabit. (+7 Dark, +13 Caliginy)[59]

A keyring that can hold an unlimited amount of novelty keychains without running out of space or getting heavier.[60]

Your starting tree is now a palm tree.

1.10x INT modifier, but you become vulnerable to infohazards.

Scorpions are now tameable

Teaches you how to make a videogame in Godot, computer and Godot game engine not included.

A tether ball pole is added to your island.

You can see me now (+1 Neutral Point)

A HitClips player. Comes with a single cartridge in which you narrate your own suicide note. One minute and forty-seven seconds in, you step away and someone else takes over.

Your favorite fast food resturaunt spawns on the island. You can order anything you want but all the food tastes like styrofoam and isn't filling at all. It is unstaffed and will respond to orders magically. It will eventually run out of food.[64]

Your starting island gets outfitted with a diving board

Star Material is now edible, highly delicious, and contains all the nutrients you need to survive. 10 cubic cm supplies about 100 calories.

Adventurers are now as common as houseflies. As a result, the questing job market goes to shit. At least it might be easier to find cheap second-hand equipment.

You now get a flash drive with the equivalent information content as your starting tree[65]

Do 3x damage to any creature whose Romance score is above 70. (+1 Twilit)

Begin with complete knowledge of all scientific, artistic, and cultural achievements ever attained by citizens of Indonesia.

Your Chr is doubled when you speak words given to you by another person to say, halved otherwise.

Slimes spawn on your island.

The warlock ensnares you with an ancient incantation, upon waking from a horrifying feverish dream, you now find yourself shapeshifted into a lost race of elf, thought extinct, you suffer from their bygone ailments, unknown to current medicine and incurable, such as early-onset rheumatoid arthritis of the hands (similar symptoms, but a misdiagnosis) and a rare form of early cone-rod dystrophy and macular degeneration, the lights and the sky look black, your vision is low, very low resolution, dot matrix even, and everything is perceived as unreadable symbols in a 24x80 grid, in a harsh white, yellow, red, cyan or magenta, which cause eye strain and headaches, you prefer to keep your eyes closed. Upon making contact with the Elvish Faction, their leaders recognize you from myths, folklore and fairy tales of their childhood, they offer you nobility, granting you the right to buy lands and command subordinates, but only if you have enough gems. (+10 Elf Alignment)

Loot boxes found on random islands now have a higher chance of RARE items, but a new CURSED item pool has been added to them.

You can ask GPT-3.5 one question per day.

A large, quivering organoid that quickly recovers your mana and majyszka while you're inside.

Captures an enemy. Single use.

Every publicly traded company started by you increases or decreases one of your stats based on the ratio of its current share price over its original IPO valuation.[67][68][69][70][71][72][73]

Every 250kg of clay you ingest increases your Wil and End by 1.

Enemies overestimate your strength by a factor of 1.10x, which may alter their behavior or tactics.

The books you publish will all become #1 NY Times Bestsellers[75]

You'll never believe who joins you on your island...

He can tell you stories of his travels.

You now inflict Fire damage equal to your Faith / 1e9

A colony of pixies open up a candy factory only 5 miles away from your island! Since pixies are so small and the demand for candy isn't very high, they only produce a gumdrop per week.

You will need a phone, internet and money.

Your FanDuel account gains the ability to use your own blood to bet with.

You now laugh like "El Risitas", your infectious laughter makes everyone burst into laughter at your wild hijinks! (+10 Cha)

Your Int is subtly increased when wearing video game related apparel[76]

Killing a monster has a 0.002% chance to drop an egg. You can either let the egg hatch over 27 days for a wholesome pet for your house, or eat it raw to gain the powers of that monster for 5 minutes and you might get salmonella.[77]

Crate of burger buns that allow you to eat air.[78]

Hair touching hairless patches of skin stimulates hair (re)growth.

An irritable titan is spawned on a 20x20x10 meter island that floats above yours.[80]

When you try to mention it to the others, none of them seem to know what you're talking about. (+1 Ach, +1 Aoa)

Your tree now grows soybeans.

Instead of spawning on your starting island, you instead spawn 80,000 meters above it

Your starting tree now continuously plays background music from a pool of 40 different grocery store-friendly songs.

For every good word someone says about you your island gains another kg of landmass

You no longer age as long as you drink milk

He is generally unresponsive and will not assist you in any way. He expresses a strong desire to die.

Clowns, Jesters, Harlequins, Comedians, Commedians, Satirists, and Parodians are now more common. (+3 Acanthochara)

Your Lck is increased by 1e-6 for each extra kg of equipment you're carrying above your body weight.

You can order Fast Food once a month (1 menu item) and it will be from the time period when it tasted the best.[82]

You gain a desire to read and experience The Classics rather than watch anime, manga, comics, Netflix, or listen to rap music (+2 Wis)

Your tongue now has a sharp bladed point at its tip.

150 extra points, but the World Dragon gets to choose how to spend them instead of you. You won't know what it has selected for you until the run starts.

(+10 Wet)

Your starting island is now a living organism, requiring proper care and love

sparta kicks are 100% more powerful, all other kicks are 0.1% as powerful [must shout “This! Is! SKYBLOCK!” with the proper cadence before beginning the kick for the buff to be applied]

3,301 cicadas will emerge from the ground of of your island in 7 years. Upon emerging, they will play sounds that could be transcribed into a melody. Replaying this melody on an instrument in the presence of a Guru will reveal the path to the Archives. Yield not to impatience, seeker of wisdom![83]

You can now see invisible islands. The inhabitants will begin to notice you too. (+1 Void Element)

All Neutral attributes increase your Wis by 1e-9

The son your mother would have had if she didn't meet your father joins you. He was born premature and is 3 feet tall with webbed fingers and toes.

A legal briefcase full of gag snakes.

There is a large barbecue sauce stain on it.

A brass goblet which causes anyone within a few meters of it to slowly accumulate anger.

Gravity is replaced by density and buoyancy

Normally, your the items you choose here will be retroactively applied to alter the entire history of The 'Verse (except in special cases). Now they suddenly happen all at once when you arrive.

A DVD that contains a 102 hour long 8K video where each pixel is taken from a different movie and the audio from all movies plays simultaneously. Movies that end are replaced by others.

You now have fibrodysplasia ossificans progressiva and will feel pain from it but it will not kill you

A bottle of liquid mercury that tastes like blue Powerade

Any cybernetic limbs you have are now made of funtanium

You may take any of these AI-Generated items for half-off the price listed. But be warned: Each item you take increases the chance of dooming humanity to an Infinite Total Suffering S-Risk Scenario by 10% (additive).[85][-2]

Your Reddit account's upvotes can now be converted into Reputation Points with either the Nerd, Incel, Loser, or Retard Faction.

A second island floats on the other side of the universe. It is the exact same as your own.

Bluesmiths can now repair Common and Fallen Mystical equipment.

Activities and actions in your life now play personalized SFX and background music created and composed by Toby Fox, which envelops and surrounds you 24/7 all throughout the day.[88]

(+6666% gore)

A ray gun which transfers the mental illnesses of those hit by the beam onto the holder

You can now travel between other similar 'Verse parallel timelines where things are slightly changed but not enough to notice any differences.

Any business owned by you is 15% more efficient if at least 40% of the employees hate their job.

Every item you took now has a randomized prefix. Some possible prefixes include: Ephemeral, Retarded, Mid, Legendary, Superb, A little better, Much worse, Shitty, Trite, Aura, etc.[90]

(+2 Smoothness)

Membranous skin wings on your back giving you a total wingspan of 4 meters and strong enough extra muscles and bones to move them (but not quickly).

Your head is changed to look more like Rayman

Your skin no longer flakes off, allowing it to thicken without limit unless you manually peel it off. (+0.5 Defence/cm)

(+1 Respect)

A strange VHS tape that documents the effects an untested vaccination had on a populace of people

All asbestos your island was built with is removed and replaced with a safer material.[94]

You can whistle 5x louder.

You save her.

You gain INF Rep with all Shoggoths, Chthonian Demons, Octopi, Sky Krakens, and Squid Elves. (+50 DARK, +10 D.O.O.M.)

You get two large tymbals in your neck that allow you to make cicada sounds

Eminem is no longer the most talented rapper

The Torah

Summon a new goon each week to do your bidding. Goons have low intellect but are loyal.[95]

You want more points, kid? You got 'em...at a price, o' course. A mysterious hooded figure you can trade with for more points. Who he is and where he's getting these points from, no one knows. His exchange rates are horrible; exorbitant amounts of Hyperionical gems or incredibly rare materials will net you just one measly point. There's almost no other way to get them though, so what can you do?[96]

You start with 6 (black) slaves that will do your bidding. No catch, but everyone you meet will think it's kinda weird and may attempt to stop you depending on their light/dark alignment and your reputation with them. (+5 Evilness)

Your body is now a black silhouette.

A narrow cobblestone path leading off the northwest edge of your island leads to a Greater Haunted Frat House about 0.5km away. Be warned, a single Greater Undead Brotherhood Chair could easily defeat an Infernal Wurm or Mired Cragbeast.

Your starting tree is 2% larger

The rate of growth of anything your starting tree can produce increases over time, as long as it is watered and taken care of regularly[97]

A bunch of miscellaneous Frank Sinatra and Rat Pack memorabilia someone gave to you. (+1.5 Pest, +0.25 Beast)

You can now produce hybrid offspring with any of the ensouled races of The 'Verse[99][100]

Loot boxes are 1% more common

Your waistline is now 48 cm. (+25% Blue Mana pool capacity)[101]

You receive a free masterclass from Mario

Your island stretches 50 more meters downward

Everything that's true and virtuous is beautiful, everything that's false and evil is ugly. The only thing this doesn't apply to is yourself.[102][103][104]

You are now able to pretend to die from poison convincingly (-10 Luck, +3 Ach)

NEUgNDUgNTUgNjcgNEUgNTQgNTEgNjcgNEUgNDUgNTEgNjcgNEUgNkEgNjMgNjcgNEUgNDUgNTUgNjcgNEUgNTQgNTEgNjcgNEUgNkIgNDkgNjcgNEUgNkEgNjMgNjcgNEUgNDUgNTUgNjcgNEUgNTQgNTEgNjcgNEUgNkIgNDkgNjcgNEUgNkEgNjMgNjcgNEUgNDUgNTUgNjcgNEUgNDQgNTEgNjcgNEUgNkEgNEQgNjcgNEUgNkEgNjMgNjcgNEUgNDUgNTUgNjcgNEUgNTQgNTEgNjcgNEUgNTQgNTUgNjcgNEUgNkEgNjMgNjcgNEUgNDUgNTEgNjcgNEUgNkIgNDUgNjcgNEUgNDQgNDUgNjcgNEUgNkEgNjMgNjcgNEUgNDUgNTUgNjcgNEUgNTQgNTEgNjcgNEUgNkEgNEQgNjcgNEUgNkEgNjMgNjcgNEUgNDUgNTUgNjcgNEUgNDQgNTEgNjcgNEUgNTQgNTUgNjcgNEUgNkEgNjMgNjcgNEUgNDUgNTUgNjcgNEUgNTQgNTEgNjcgNEUgNDQgNDUgNjcgNEUgNkEgNjMgNjcgNEUgNDUgNTUgNjcgNEUgNTQgNTEgNjcgNEUgNDQgNDUgNjcgNEUgNkEgNjMgNjcgNEUgNDUgNTUgNjcgNEUgNTQgNTEgNjcgNEUgNDUgNTEgNjcgNEUgNkEgNjMgNjcgNEUgNDUgNTUgNjcgNEUgNDQgNTEgNjcgNEUgNkEgNEQgNjcgNEUgNkEgNjMgNjcgNEUgNDUgNTEgNjcgNEUgNkIgNDUgNjcgNEUgNDQgNDUgNjcgNEUgNkEgNjMgNjcgNEUgNDUgNTUgNjcgNEUgNDQgNTEgNjcgNEUgNkEgNjMgNjcgNEUgNkEgNjMgNjcgNEUgNDUgNTUgNjcgNEUgNDQgNTUgNjcgNEUgNTQgNkIgNjcgNEUgNkEgNjMgNjcgNEUgNDUgNTUgNjcgNEUgNDQgNTEgNjcgNEUgNkEgNEQgNjcgNEUgNkEgNjMgNjcgNEUgNDUgNTEgNjcgNEUgNkIgNDUgNjcgNEUgNDQgNDUgNjcgNEUgNkEgNjMgNjcgNEUgNDUgNTUgNjcgNEUgNDQgNTEgNjcgNEUgNTQgNkIgNjcgNEUgNkEgNjMgNjcgNEUgNDUgNTUgNjcgNEUgNDQgNTEgNjcgNEUgNkEgNjMgNjcgNEUgNkEgNjMgNjcgNEUgNDUgNTUgNjcgNEUgNTQgNTUgNjcgNEUgNDQgNTUgNjcgNEUgNkEgNjMgNjcgNEUgNDUgNTUgNjcgNEUgNTQgNTEgNjcgNEUgNDQgNDUgNjcgNEQgMzAgNTEgM0Q= (+1 Enlightenment)

Trading with The Points Dealer is 5% cheaper.

Any living creature of mass one gram or greater placed inside will be repeatedly duplicated in the surrounding nine cubic meters at an interval depending on its mass. Time interval in seconds is equal to the creature's mass in decigrams to the one and one halfth power.[105]

A large color printer is added to your island. Every day it prints a new random image that exists on the internet onto a piece of A4 paper. Requires no ink, paper, or electricity. Cannot be fixed if broken.

A man named Ali from far away lands will sell you rare silks, gems, and spices, but his journey to your island is multiple years long.

You are now ordained to perform Elven marriages

You gain psychokinesis capable of manipulating singular objects with the same strength as your full body at a range of 5 meters, but your skull naturally insulates this power to 1/100th of its full potential. Any holes in your skull will allow you to direct your power fully in the direction of the hole.

Your alignments no longer confer any stat benefits nor do they incur any weaknesses. (+1 Lbr)

Rodents are now smarter and more coordinated, while felines are now dumber and more susceptible to traps.

Vampires are now 33% more sparkly and Werewolves are now 50% smexier.

A sandwich-sized plastic ziplock bag containing 100m3 of compressed vacuum (not extradimensional).

You get a map to The Scoreboard.

A selfie stick

Every 24 hours worth of pure thinking or meditation increases your Int by 0.1.

Lootboxes containing food come with a side of hot queso.

Your starting tree is now genetically modified and can grow exponentially larger but cannot produce any fruit and may sometimes leak caustic resin.

Gain significantly improved dexterity when moving and ambulating across high foliage.

The wind never blows from the west. (-1 Grace)

You get a flip phone with some games on it and basic access to the internet but will lose it if you don't call your mom three times a day.

All monsters, sapient beings, and you now have their Spd set to 1 at the start.[106]

(+0.235 PSL)

A protective outer covering like a walnut shell now grows out of a stalk on your head, but it will eventually close around your head if you don't trim it regularly

An incredible labyrinthine floating 9 hole mini golf course is built off the west side of your island. It covers a total of 1000 square meters and features wooden structures lavishly painted to look like various bosses and monsters.[108]

RDMing is now more easily forgiven.

Choose one real person, alive or dead. A skinwalker mimicking their form will join you.[109][110][111]

12 toilet paper rolls worth of toilet paper has been thrown into and over your starting tree and there's some kind of burning brown paper bag in front of it

Receive no cash prize at the end of your stay but you can use your index finger as a laser pointer

You can now fully control your SOUL, you can exit your body and noclip to other islands but you can't physically interact with anything, every second you are outside your body, your body learns to live without you.

(+3 Tranquility)

Purchase this item for 10 points to save her.[114]

Achievements are now enabled. (-1250 Productivity)[115]

Racism is more powerful. WARNING: Works for all races

You gain immunity to Paris Syndrome.

Your hair now changes color over time. If you're bald, the top of your head changes color over time.

A black tablet with a port that produces 1 kW of power indefinitely. Comes with a couple of conversion cables. The tablet will periodically receive video calls from a 41 year old man who works in the dairy department of a supermarket. He will want to talk with you. The topics are usually limited to feedback on his ideas for a sketch comedy show, 80s movies he likes, or his complaints about politics. If you do not maintain a good enough relationship with him the tablet will shut off forever.[116][117]

A 3 meter x 2 meter fenced-in wooden deck is added to the north side of your starting island. Not supported by Star Material.[118]

Haters make you stronger.

You recive a 3-sided die, and are prompted to pick one side you think it will land on. If you guess correctly, an unattended mall kiosk spawns on your island which contents are randomly set per run to either be: 1. A selection of graphic tees and snapback baseball caps with bootleg naruto, jack skellington, and oldguysrule designs on them plus a few chain wallets 2. A selection of wacky toys including battery operated toy dogs, rc helicopters, and colorful disco lights, and one quarter-full gumball machine which is filled with watermelon gumballs 3. A selection of designer sunglsses and a massage chair that requires 20 Simolifarthings to operate for 10 minutes., if you guess incorrectly, you have to preface your journey in the 'Verse with 1 year of life as a wad of chewed up gum stuck to a city wall in detroit which may serve as an important trait in a future 'Verse job interview...

Your sense of smell is upgraded to be 3 dimensional.

A round, flat polished river stone about half the size of an average adult human fist that makes anyone who bites down on it feel more calm and level-headed.

The void now has wind (up to Beaufort scale 4)

Your sweat becomes an incredible lubricant and allows you to slide extremely fast on your stomach like a penguin.

Spawns a clock enchanted with Infinity I.

Your starting tree has free will!

You get a snowman who will keep your personal finances in order. He melts slower than a normal snowman. If he melts fully, he dies.

A small building appears somewhere near you. It has blacked-out windows and a single door which appears to be locked. (+50 Intrigue)[124]

You now know the location of Death Island

Other creatures are more likely to believe you when you threaten suicide to get your way.

A hardbound copy of "Unlocking the Little Gate: A Finite Look at the Infinite Arts of Maggyk" by Scolan Carbu. The facts inside are mindblowing![125]

You can apply (and later remove) purely cosmetic flame decals to anything within your line of sight

Your starting tree grows fruit 3% faster

Candied weapons do double damage during counterattacks

Invisible, twisting bridges sometimes connect distant floating islands together. There is guaranteed to be one connecting your starting island to the nearest other island that isn't a satellite of it.[127]

A legally distinct & officially licensed (per Spotify Technology S.A. and FanDuel Sports Network) video game 'scotformer arcade cabinet is installed on your island. Winning a level grants you 30 seconds of uninterrupted Top 50 Hits! Featuring over 24 hours of gameplay! The shoot button's sensor is a little sticky and may fail to shoot streams of bullets uninterrupted. Try your best to make it to the Haven of Terrific Toys![128]

You can go to the Nether but you can't come back.

Your body becomes 400% hairier.

It's the 90's again

NPCs will regularly offer advice and gameplay hints. (+1 Friend Factor)[129]

20 Utah Teapots made of rigid plastic and 30 Stanford bunnies made of bouncy rubber.

You can choose any other living person to take your place in The 'Verse, but you will be trapped in a 10 x 10 x 10 meter concrete room somewhere deep in the void. All items and runs taken which apply to your person apply to them instead. The room has a single window.[131][132][133]

(+28 Echodeoandrymias)

You gain a bumper sticker on your island which promotes peace between elfs, dwarfs, orcs, pixies, and goblins

Your starting chest is buried underground.

Peter was a serious young boy who set out into the forest to slay slimes.
He wanted to grow in power to protect his village.
He carried a longsword, and wore basic cotton clothing.

Peter understood well enough that his parents had sent him into the wilderness to keep him occupied more than out of any need for protection. These low level slimes posed no threat to the village.
He also tired of dealing with his parents, who somehow managed to be simultaneously neglectful and demanding, so possessed by an unusual whimsy, he simply chose not to return home one evening.
Peter slept soundly on the forest floor, and awoke mysteriously untouched by insects or other creatures of the night.
He continued like this as weeks blurred into months, and lost himself in the telos of slime death.
Peter pressed forward slaying slimes and doing little else, too deep in the wilderness to be found by any search parties.
His parents must have assumed he died at some point.
He ate a diet of mostly slime, a monster drop thought to be toxic and inedible even to animals, but Peter found it tasted quite pleasant after a long day of slime culling.

The average person knows slimes for their habits of absorption and molestation, but fewer are aware of their psychological and noospheric capabilities.
Recent studies suggest a statistical link between naturalists who study slimes and those who develop early-onset dementia.
Further study has yet to reveal the following, but slimes also have deleterious effects on the minds of adventurers who slay them through contact with splattered slime, even in the brief moments before the slimes' death.
Peter, like any other adventurer, would ordinarily have been expected to lose a few basis points of Int after slaying hundreds of slimes over the summer.
However, his mind felt clearer than it ever had while living with his parents.
While murdering slimes with his longsword, Peter felt a bizarre, yet impossibly natural serenity without any loss of alertness.
Cutting through thick brush and slimes alike with a sharp eye, the path ahead couldn't have been more obvious.

Although when Peter found himself at the gates of a coastal city with nothing but oddly intact clothing and a longsword, he wondered briefly where his legs were taking him.
Surely the few slimes he sensed in this city could not be better slays than those that spawned in the deep wilderness?
A few uncommon jewels collected from yesterday's slimes were enough to pay for lodging at a local tavern.
Peter struck up conversation with some of the guests while watching the sun set.
Months of aimless wander-slaughter without human contact hadn't dulled his ability to communicate in the slightest, in fact Peter found himself to possess a surprising charisma belying his age.
Peter effortlessly maintained the false persona he had prepared in advance, but actually stumbled over his words when his interlocutor casually mentioned that her expedition party's airship would be leaving tomorrow for Slime Island.
His mind, rapidly catching up with his instincts, instantaneously understood why the greater purpose that provided him salvation had brought him to this time and moment.
Of course, he must board this airship.
The expedition party was hesitant, but something about this strange boy reassured them, as if his desire to learn more about slimes was more compelling than their own mission.
They set off and as the airship landed on Slime Island, Peter slew every member of the expedition in the night.

The slimes on Slime Island were much larger and more diverse than those from his homeland, but Peter's capabilities rose to meet the task.
Slaying these slimes made him feel more alive and attuned with himself than ever. He barely ate or slept.
Some of the most dangerous higher level slimes specialized in absorption of intellect, and used advanced combat tactics to hide themselves before paralyzing prey in seconds.
Peter quickly began to understand that not only was he immune to these attacks, he seemed to reflect them.
As a Striped Carmine-Grey slime that had caught him in an ambush attempted to smother him, he felt a surge of focus and the slime sloshed limply onto the rocky ground.
The answer came from within before Peter's mind formed the question, as he reached down to touch the broken slime and absorbed its remaining conceptual essence, reducing its form to dust.
He could tell, from touching the slime, that its cytoplasm was less pure than his own.
Inexplicably, Peter by killing slimes had become more slime than this slime. But how?
Were these impurities born from non-digestible concepts the slime had absorbed, following its blind instincts? Or perhaps from the necessity that the practicalities of life as a low-perplexity life form limit its entelechy?
The Striped Carmine-Grey had grown wiser by rejecting its slime aspect, in opposition to his own journey.
Either way, it was apparent that a slime only capable of absorption through physical contact was not a true slime.
And with that understanding, Peter also understood how his Way of the Ooze had thusfar kept him from losing himself while floating in the boundless psychic awareness of a sea of slimes.

The slimes he slashed open were purified, much like the slimes themselves purified their victims.
Peter purified a lot of slimes every day for a long time, and meditated instead of sleeping.
Slime Island was vast, and his purification did not have any impact on their total population.
One day, while meditating on Slime Island, the Slime King appeared on the horizon.
Perhaps it was attracted by his activities, or perhaps the meeting was entirely by chance.
As soon as he noticed its ripples in the psychic ocean, Peter without exiting trance gripped his longsword and hastened to purify the Slime King.
Moved by his purity of will, and with a primal understanding that standing against this man would be to deny its own existence, the Slime King overextended a thousand pseudopods before Peter could strike at range with psychic attacks.
The Slime King explosively ruptured its own membrane, raining down refined royal slime across the entire island.
The Slime King's crown, several meters across, rolled along the beach and arrived before Peter.
Rather than changing his form to fit the crown, he consumed the concept of the Slime King and redefined it such that it was himself.
Peter wears the former slime king's crown and retains his human form to this day.
He took the name Peter-Qo-Jell (or "Peter from Slime"), christening himself as a being that had ascended beyond what slimes once were.

What exactly was it that possessed Peter that evening he decided not to return to his parents' home?
Despite perfect exocognitive clarity of thought, he does not know for sure.
Peter-Qo-Jell could see now that the gestalt Slimemind, while possessing far greater psychic force, was unable to coordinate more than a primitive, constant urge, and the former Slime King, while it lived, could not have been much more sophisticated.

In the end, Peter's village was destroyed by low level slimes which mysteriously began to show levels of aggression and intelligence previously unheard of.
He left Slime Island on his slimeship for distant lands shortly after becoming Slime Overlord.
Peter-Qo-Jell lives across all slimes, and appears to revive from slime if his primary physical form is destroyed.
He exists as the hyperconscious embodiment of the greater Slime will, and cannot be easily persuaded or deceived without psychic capacity to rival the Slimemind.
Peter-Qo-Jell's instinctive powers of influence and manipulation are as frightening as his direct attacks. He can effect direct attacks over long distances without the requirement for physical contact which was once the greatest weakness of slimes.

Peter-Qo-Jell joins your island.

Yellow paint shows you where to go. (-100% Free Will)

You can interrogate the blood of any living creature with your mind. You are not immune to this power.

You lose your virginity. You don't get to have sex, you just aren't a virgin anymore. (-999 Purity, -999 Grace of God)

(+5 Animosity)

You now see in ASCII art

Look at yourself: another pathetic also-ran trying to Choose Your Own Escapism. Unfortunately, friend, the impotent safety of pure hypotheticals is far behind you now. Your actions have consequences. You are forcibly equipped with the Guilty Gamer's Pendant, which makes you feel the full weight of your choices. However, as painful as it is, the pendant also profoundly increases your Gamesmastery. (+1000% Gamesmastery)

Your presence is now completely untraceable over the Internet, Interley, any P2P network, radio broadcasts, DwarfNET, and Urbit.

A single copy of "Fez 2", for an unknown game console you don't possess.

Monkeys are now factionally aligned with Mech Dwarves, Robots, and Nerds

You always know what the axes on a chart represent

You now breathe out of your skin and must keep it sufficiently wet or you will die. On the bright side, you are now stickier, slimier, have a long prehensile tongue, and insects taste better. (Stickiness and Sliminess now level x2.5 faster.) (+10% Green Magic capacity, +2.5% Terrestrialism, +2.5% Aquaticism, -5 Insectoid Alignment)

2,000 popsicle sticks and a bottle of super glue

Elder residents of The 'Verse are now impressed by your ability to do mundane tasks.

Gain 5 new emotions. Words don't exist to describe them.

You gain power & discipline and your cockiness levels max out.

It's impossible for you to fall off an island! Your body can no longer physically go more than 10 meters away from Star Material (or material directly supported by it) without a proportional restorative spring force being applied back towards land.

A random NPC race character on another island is secretly your long lost brother and will celebrate your eventual reunion (+25 RANDOM Alignment)[136]

Waffle islands, butter golems, and syrupslimes now spawn.

Dark Elves slowly begin disappearing from the 'Verse.

Data can now be transferred at light speed. (+10 Robot Alignment)

Fish are now 2x larger

You can dance incredibly well. Everybody else hates it and will attack if you dance in their LOS. (+4 Dex, -8 Chr)

(+5 Epicness)

3 cans of cannellini beans[138]

A sock puppet that allows any being wearing it to migrate their soul inside and back out of it. May sometimes channel wandering souls if not occupied. (-10000 Holy)

You begin with 1 of every animal.[139]

Receive a common loot bag every time you level up a non-combat skill.

A thick cloud of mosquitos perpetually consumes your island.

You start wearing traditional Victorian clothing. (+3 Eld)

A T-Shirt with your starting island on it.

Once a month your parents will receive a letter listing your achievements (and your failures)

A set of 173 papyrus scrolls, each detailing the plot of a different Three's Company episode plus one which is written in Elfkin script.

A RealDoll golem comes with your island. Using her for any kind of sexual task will cause her artificial soul to disperse and leave the doll lifeless (+1 Neutral Point, -2 Chr)

Change your name at the start of your run (-20 Dollars)

An extra heart.

Dogs get so excited when they see you that they have seizures and die.

A throne suspended on an extremely thin 40 foot pole appears somewhere on your island. While you sit on it you will recieve massive random stat boosts over a bi-weekly period, but if you get up from the throne at any point the stats will be purged and you will have to sit and accumulate the boosts again. Also, you being so high in the sky has drawn the attention of the jealous and territorial Zephyr Bandits who will aim violent storm winds towards you. (+Epic stat boosts, +Kingly Aura)

Rum now enrages all races of The 'Verse, making them ULTRAVIOLENT. Dwarves and the Pirate faction are now GENOCIDAL.

Gas chambers and other mass death machines are now 50% more efficient.

A pound of uncooked pork shoulder

Your starting tree has eyes and can see!

You can ride any living creature.

This one-time use item will let you apply a glow-in-the-dark effect or digital camouflage to any piece of armor, no matter its level.[141]

Your starting tree is replaced with a potato plant.

A Burger King crown that doubles the calories gained from anything ingested by whatever wears it (+0.5 Piercing Damage)

Wearing sunglasses in the dark gives you night vision.[143]

You always know which way is East.

A thumnalium key which oozes a scintillating mystery slime...[144]

Your starting island has a king size bed on it with comfortable blankets and pillows. There is a small chance of having a Class Q nightmare when you sleep on it or sleep using any dissassembled parts from it.

All Water Damage, Wind Damage, Fire Damage, Stone Damage, Wood Damage, Nature Damage, Ice Damage, Energy Damage, Light Damage, Dark Damage, Bacon Damage, Metal Damage, Silver Damage, Poison Damage, Disease Damage, ??? Damage, Fear Damage, Curse Damage, Good Damage, Evil Damage, and Null Damage is now rounded up to the nearest whole number.

Your starting island comes with an illusory campfire! Provides light but no heat. SORCERER GENERAL'S WARNING: Prolonged exposure to illusion magic can have negative health consequences.

He told you to never touch this, but maybe just this once... (-1 Ach)

Gargoyles are now less hostile.[145]

You receive an admission to the Mogwarts Magical Academy for Gifted Children located 0.934 megameters directly southwest of your starting island.

You can see an exact numerical representation of the Fame of any entity you look at

He has grown as a person and no longer carries toxoplasmosis.

You frequently get nosebleeds. (+4 Wis)

Sans is now standing in your island, has one line of dialogue.

(+1 Aura)

Your starting tree now has a secret door on it concealing a chute to the bottom of your island.

A friendly Koala bear named Nicky that encourages your every action and attempts to grant you psychological permission for every action you have hesitance to take. Nicky will never do actions for you.

A set of 100 green, 100 blue, and 100 red plastic army men and 1x1 meter roll up plastic mat with a black and white chessboard pattern.

You become 10x faster at creating simple web applications

A colony of Dökkálfar now live in your starting tree.

You are no longer black

Immediately teleport to any island you're about to die on

You have perfect knowledge of HTML (+3 Robot Alignment)

Permanently cure all of your food allergies.

A word so powerful it can kill anything (besides the World Dragon). Can only be used once.

Every ring in the 'Verse now has stat bonuses, but the bonuses only apply if you have proposed to a woman or man with a ring of identical or near identical make (he/she/it has to say yes.) Stat bonuses depend on the race of your spouse.

A skateboard.

An onion ring that gives you a flashbulb memory of the moment you consume it fully.

Your chest is now a metal safe with a combination lock.

You've now received the equivalent of 10 years worth of professional mental health counseling

Lvl up! Your username and level now float above your head.

Upon defeating the World Dragon, you will suddenly wake up, revealing everything that happened was a dream. (Free, but disappointing)

Your OC will become canon in the 'Verse! (-1000 Dollars)

Feeding your starting tree the thumbs of ensouled plant and earth-aligned creatures increases the rate of growth of anything it produces.[150]

The 'Verse is now a finite 3-torus. Careful what you wish for!